Anxiety Coping Skills You Can Use Now: Techniques from a Trauma Therapist
Calming technique: The Butterfly
As a therapist based in Asheville, I work online with people across North Carolina who are experiencing anxiety and trauma, often rooted in adverse childhood experiences or childhood trauma. One of the most helpful tools I offer is teaching body-based coping skills that calm the nervous system and bring a sense of groundedness to the body. These practical techniques can be especially supportive for anyone seeking therapy for anxiety or trauma.
Anxiety in adulthood often ties back to growing up in stressful or neglectful environments. Even something like emotional neglect can leave a lasting mark. Everyday situations—like fear of making mistakes, receiving criticism, or worrying you’re not enough—can trigger anxiety for those with a history of trauma. These moments may feel less like minor setbacks and more like alarm bells, triggering an urgent need to protect yourself.
When anxiety strikes, your body often responds as if you’re in danger. Your heart may race, your palms might sweat, and a sense of urgency or panic can fill your chest. You might notice your legs bouncing or changes in your posture. These are signs that your nervous system is activated, and your stress response is in full effect.
For many of my clients, this is the point when anxiety spirals into a loop of anxious and negative thoughts. If a trauma trigger is present, the body often takes control, leaving you feeling overwhelmed and ungrounded. Fortunately, there are effective ways to calm your body in the moment. Below are techniques commonly used in EMDR therapy to help stabilize and soothe.
Brain-Based Stabilization Techniques
Many of the grounding techniques shared here are often used during EMDR therapy, a highly effective approach for processing trauma and calming an overactive nervous system. EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, is a brain-based trauma therapy that uses bilateral stimulation, such as rapid eye movements, to help process and integrate traumatic memories. While these techniques are a key part of EMDR therapy, they’re also incredibly helpful for managing anxiety, stress, and emotional overwhelm outside of therapy sessions. If you’re curious about how EMDR works, you can explore my detailed overview in this article.
When I teach these grounding techniques during EMDR sessions, I often encourage clients to follow up with a body scan to notice any shifts. Some clients feel their tension ease, take deeper breaths, or experience a sense of calm and comfort. Others find that their anxiety becomes more manageable. It’s natural for certain techniques to feel more effective than others, so I recommend experimenting with a variety to find what works best for you.
The Butterfly
Choose a comfortable position—sitting or standing.
Focus on your natural breathing, noticing the rhythm as you inhale and exhale.
Cross your hands, hooking your thumbs together to form a butterfly shape.
Rest your butterfly hands on your chest, just below your collarbones.
Breathe at your own pace, gently lifting one hand (a “butterfly wing”) at a time while pressing lightly on your chest. Alternate sides.
Repeat for at least 1 minute, but go as long as you need to find soothing.
Do a body scan and notice any shifts
Tip: Try breathing in through your nose and out through pursed lips for added relaxation.
I’ve made a video showing how to use the butterfly grounding technique, originally for trauma triggers, but also great for anxiety. Credit: Roy Kiessling, EMDR Consulting, modified from Artigas, Jarero. Click here to watch the tutorial.
The Hug
Find a comfortable position to sit or stand.
Pay attention to your natural breathing rhythm.
Cross your arms in an X shape over your chest, resting your fingers on your shoulders.
Breathe naturally, and alternate lifting each hand to gently tap the opposite shoulder.
Repeat for at least 1 minute, but go as long as you need to find soothing.
Do a body scan and notice any shifts
Tip: Add a comforting squeeze for extra self-soothing, like giving yourself a hug.
I’ve created a video demonstrating The Hug grounding technique, originally for trauma triggers, but also effective for calming anxiety. Credit: Roy Kiessling, EMDR Consulting. Click here to watch the tutorial.
Acupressure Points on Hands
This method is subtle and can be done discreetly, making it perfect for use during conversations or out in public.
Using your thumb and forefinger, locate the tender spot in the webbing between the thumb and forefinger of your opposite hand.
Massage the area gently for at least 15 seconds.
Do a body scan and notice any shifts
Tip: Experiment with both hands to see if the sensations differ. Many people notice unique effects on each side.
I’ve made a video demonstrating the hand acupressure point technique, originally for grounding after trauma triggers, and equally effective for reducing anxiety. Credit: Roy Kiessling, EMDR Consulting. Click here to watch the tutorial.
Building an Anxiety Coping Skills Toolbox with a Trauma Therapist
Whether your anxiety stems from ongoing stress, childhood trauma, or an anxiety disorder, these techniques can help you calm your body and enhance your ability to self-soothe. Practicing these strategies regularly can make them even more effective while teaching your nervous system how to maintain balance. It's normal for some techniques to feel more helpful than others, so I encourage trying different approaches to discover what suits you best. Explore more body-based techniques to ease anxiety or stabilize trauma responses by clicking here.
Supporting Your Nervous System as a Cycle Breaker: Trauma Therapy in North Carolina
As a trauma therapist, I understand how deeply childhood experiences can shape chronic anxiety and stress in adulthood. Many of my clients identify as "cycle breakers"—individuals who grew up in complex, unhealthy family systems and are committed to ending generational patterns by prioritizing their own well-being and growth.
Navigating life as a cycle breaker can be overwhelming, often bringing up anxiety and past trauma. The techniques outlined above are valuable tools for managing these challenges. Trauma therapy for childhood experiences and anxiety goes beyond symptom management, offering a pathway to uncover the roots of your struggles and achieve lasting transformation.
Trauma Therapy and Anxiety Therapy for North Carolina Residents
Discover how trauma therapy and anxiety therapy in North Carolina can help cycle breakers reduce anxiety, address generational wounds, and create meaningful change. Click below to explore therapy options for anxiety and childhood trauma relief.
Explore Trauma Therapy
If you’re seeking personalized support, I offer trauma therapy and anxiety therapy to clients across North Carolina. Schedule a free consultation to learn more about online therapy for anxiety and trauma, and how it can empower you to manage stress and promote lasting change. Click here to schedule your consultation now.
Hanna Woody – Trauma Therapy & Enneagram Specialist
Hanna Woody specializes in trauma therapy, anxiety therapy, Enneagram therapy, therapy for cycle breakers, and support for individuals recovering from narcissistic abuse.