Gifts You Need to Give Yourself To Break Cycles of Generational Trauma
Breaking cycles in generational trauma is not easy work. It’s a path that is full of obstacles, confusion, and loneliness. Anxiety, depression, and hypervigilance are common. Doing the work to understand how childhood trauma has impacted you is exhausting. When people are doing this kind of work for themselves, they tend to focus on all of the things that they believe they need to overcome. They work hard to learn how to set boundaries and to learn healthier communication with their families and loved ones. They work hard to learn more about how trauma is impacting them and how to heal. They want to be healthy and they are committed to doing the work.
An area where they are under commiting is truly giving themselves permission to take care of themselves. You can’t heal your childhood trauma without learning how to prioritize and take good care of yourself. This is one of the big areas that therapy for cycle breakers addresses. Most cycle breakers struggle with this because it wasn’t modeled to them in their family of origin. Experiencing childhood trauma also has the impact of creating beliefs that limit your ability to relax, trust in yourself, and give to yourself.
Gifts you need to give yourself to help heal your childhood trauma and break generational cycles of trauma:
Permission to let go of the things you cannot control
Permission to have boundaries, even if others don’t understand
Permission to say no to what doesn't nourish and support you
Permission to say yes to what actually nourishes you and supports your growth
Permission to be who you are right now
Permission to blaze your own path
Permission to invest in yourself and get support
Permission to let go of the things you can’t control: Growing up with childhood trauma leaves you with anxiety and hypervigilance. This can come out in cycle breaking when you are exhausting yourself trying to make things with your family of origin better.
Permission to have boundaries: Most of us know that having boundaries is a good thing and is considered healthy. Giving yourself permission to have boundaries when others don’t get it or challenge you is a difficult and essential skill to develop to heal your childhood trauma.
Permission to say no to what doesn’t nourish and support you: Cycle breakers have a hard time choosing themselves. If you experienced any kind of child abuse, it’s even harder to do this.
Permission to say yes to what actually nourishes and supports you: It’s okay to give yourself what you need. Learning how to give yourself nourishment and support is essential to healing trauma.
Permission to be who you are right now: Change is inherent to breaking cycles of generational trauma. Cycle breakers are often different from their families and become outliers. Even if you or your family view this as a negative thing, giving yourself permission to accept how you’ve changed is essential.
Permission to blaze your own path: It’s okay to go a different way. It’s okay to get away from stressful situations and relationships.
Permission to invest in yourself and get support: Cycle breakers can feel guilty about giving themselves what they need and want. This guilt is often rooted in childhood trauma. Giving yourself permission to get support is an act of self-care and an investment in your future health.
Being a cycle breaker is hard work. There’s no denying it. It’s often a lonely path full of obstacles and confusion. It can be hard to know what the right thing to do is when you are trying to learn healthy boundaries and communication. You are simultaneously unlearning what was modeled to you in your family and educating yourself on how to be the healthiest and happiest version of yourself. Not everyone around you will get it or be able to support you in the way you need. I specialize in working with cycle breakers and can help you.
If you’re ready to get started, the first step to working together is to schedule a free 20 minute consultation. Investing your time, money, and emotional energy into therapy or coaching is a big deal. It’s an investment in yourself and your wellbeing. It’s important that you make this investment with trust and confidence that working together is a good fit. This is why I offer a 20 minute consultation. During this time we can identify your needs and answer any questions that you have about working together.
Hanna Woody is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor in Asheville, North Carolina. She has over 12 years of professional counseling experience and specializes in breaking cycles of intergenerational trauma, childhood trauma, and the Enneagram. Certified in the Embodiment Tradition, she has over 150 hours of training and teaching experience. Hanna is in private practice and provides online mental health therapy, Enneagram coaching, and Enneagram training.
Therapy in Asheville, Raleigh, Charlotte, Winston-Salem, Greensboro and all North Carolina regions.
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