Enneagram Type 9
Working with an Enneagram Therapist
How Enneagram 9’s Can Benefit from Therapy
Throughout your life, you believed that maintaining peace and steering clear of conflict was the safest approach. You thought it was better to keep your feelings in check rather than rock the boat. Anger seemed dangerous, and you never wanted to harm anyone with it. You often feel weighed down by life's pressures and your place in it. Self-doubt and anxiety can become so consuming that all you want is to escape and disconnect. This sense of being overwhelmed makes you question your ability to handle life effectively. You worry about not being there for the important people in your life, but on a deeper level, you’re concerned about not being there for yourself. It’s somewhat easier to let others overlook you, but it still deeply affects you. Discovering the traits of Enneagram type 9 has been both affirming and frightening. You want to understand yourself better and learn how to face conflict, but the thought of confronting intensity and anger feels daunting. You’re tired of feeling overwhelmed and desire to feel more grounded and confident in yourself.
The Enneagram is such a powerful tool to use in therapy or Enneagram coaching. When my clients find their correct type and resonate with the work of that type, it accelerates their self-awareness and self-growth. The Enneagram acts like a mirror and a compass. My clients can see the good, the bad, the ugly AND understand what’s keeping them stuck. They learn how to break the patterns that are keeping them stuck and preventing them from thriving. If you study the Enneagram, you know that it goes SO MUCH deeper than what a small blog or social media post can describe. The Enneagram is just as complex as the humans it represents. Keep that in mind, and here are some basics about Enneagram Type 9.
Type 9
Core Emotion: Anger (Avoiding)
Energetics: Calm, easy-going, comfortable
Filter through which they see the world: Sees what is out of balance
Negative Core Belief: I don’t matter
Traits: Easy going, conflict avoidant, kind, compassionate, stubborn, can be passive-aggressive and rely on indirect communication
Values: Consensus, balance, everyone being heard and their needs getting met, seeing things from everyone’s side
Childhood: Learned early on that it was better to get along, disappear, and be peaceful than to be seen and take up space.
Not afraid to: Get absorbed in hobbies and rest (9’s love to relax!)
Hard for them to: Be in conflict or be around it, state their opinion and take up space
Common Experiences for 9’s
Feeling unseen, pain around being invisible
Genuinely agreeing with everyone’s good ideas and seeing things from multiple perspectives
Being bothered when everyone’s perspective isn’t valued or seen
Difficulty asserting core self needs and perspective (sometimes difficulty even knowing core self)
Feeling overwhelmed by intensity and feeling as though they don’t have what it takes to do all of life’s tasks
Need to retreat into consuming or numbing behaviors (listening to podcasts, watching tv, zoning out into a hobby or person)
Enneagram 9 Trauma Response
Seeks Safety Through Disappearing
“It’s better to get along and not rock the boat.”
9’s naturally focus on seeking harmony and avoiding intensity
Trauma destroys a sense of balance and harmony and creates a feeling of intense chaos
Seeks safety through trying to re-establish harmony and calm by mediating, soothing, downplaying, or outright avoiding conflict
Cope with trauma by being really “easy” and not causing problems or taking up space
Being very agreeable and going along with what others want
Escape intensity by numbing out and avoiding
Avoid feeling anger in themselves even if it means they have to completely suppress their desires, opinions, and needs
Anger can feel extremely dangerous, especially if trauma was caused by anger harming others in a violent or emotionally unsafe way
9’s can experience outbursts of anger when they are suppressing it, and these outbursts can lead to substantial feelings of fear and shame making them want to avoid anger even more
Simultaneously feel safer because others don’t see them and experience deep pain and grief for not being seen
Holding a core belief that they don’t matter
No matter where you are in your Enneagram journey, working with an Enneagram therapist will help you create the kind of change you desire in your life. It will help you understand and remove the barriers that your type is creating to having the kind of love and relationships that you want. My goal is for you to walk away from therapy with confidence and a feeling of empowerment. I will help you get clarity on what you need to do to grow into the healthiest version of your type. Our Enneagram work and trauma work is never really fully complete, but Enneagram therapy can help you gain clarity on what you need to heal.
Learn more about working with Hanna
If you are ready to get started, the first step to working together is to schedule a free 20 minute consultation. Investing your time, money, and emotional energy into therapy or coaching is a big deal. It’s an investment in yourself and your wellbeing. It’s important that you make this investment with trust and confidence that working together is a good fit. This is why I offer a 20 minute consultation. During this time we can identify your needs and answer any questions that you have about working together.
Hanna Woody is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor in Asheville, North Carolina. She has over 12 years of professional counseling experience and specializes in breaking cycles of intergenerational trauma, childhood trauma, and the Enneagram. Certified in the Embodiment Tradition, she has over 150 hours of training and teaching experience. Hanna is in private practice and provides online mental health therapy, Enneagram coaching, and Enneagram training.
Therapy in Asheville, Raleigh, Charlotte, Winston-Salem, Greensboro and all North Carolina regions.
Therapy for Childhood Trauma, Anxiety Therapist, Childhood Trauma Therapist, Therapy for Cycle Breakers, Narcissistic Abuse Recovery, Enneagram Therapy, Enneagram Therapist, Enneagram Coaching