Working with an Enneagram Therapist: How Type 9s Can Benefit from Therapy
You've spent your whole life believing that keeping the peace and avoiding conflict was the best way to stay safe. It felt easier to hold back and not rock the boat. Anger feels dangerous, and you never want to risk hurting anyone with it. But underneath, you often feel overwhelmed by the weight of the world and uncertain about your role in it. Self-doubt and anxiety take over, leaving you wanting nothing more than to rest or numb out. This overwhelm makes you question whether you truly have what it takes to handle life’s challenges.
You worry about not being present for the relationships that matter most—but when you dig deeper, you realize you’re most concerned about not being there for yourself. It may seem easier to go unseen, but deep down, it hurts. Discovering your traits as an Enneagram Type 9 felt both validating and intimidating. You want to understand who you are and learn how to stop avoiding conflict, but the idea of confronting intensity and anger feels overwhelming. You’re ready to move past this and feel grounded, confident, and connected to your authentic self.
How an Enneagram Therapist Can Help
The Enneagram is a powerful tool for self-awareness and trauma healing, especially when used in therapy or Enneagram coaching. When you identify with your correct Enneagram type, it accelerates your growth, revealing both your strengths and the deeper patterns that may be holding you back. As an Enneagram trauma therapist in North Carolina, I use this tool to help clients uncover the underlying dynamics that keep them stuck, while also highlighting the qualities that can empower them toward meaningful change.
The Enneagram acts as both a mirror and a compass. It provides a clear reflection of who you are and guides you toward breaking the cycles that prevent you from thriving. This system goes far beyond a typical personality assessment; it sheds light on the deeper layers of your motivations, fears, and behaviors, making it an invaluable tool in therapy. My role as your Enneagram therapist is to guide you through this complex process, helping you achieve healing, clarity, and a stronger connection to your true self.
If you’ve already explored the Enneagram, you know it’s far more nuanced than what a brief article or social media post can convey. You might not resonate with every detail shared here, and that’s okay—consider looking into the subtypes for further insight. The Enneagram is as complex as the people it represents, and understanding your specific type, such as Enneagram Type 9, can provide transformative insights on your journey toward self-acceptance and personal growth.
Understanding Enneagram Type 9
Core Traits of Enneagram Type 9
Core Emotion: Anger (often suppressed or avoided)
Energetics: Calm, easy-going, comfortable
Worldview: Sees what is out of balance
Negative Core Belief: “I don’t matter.”
Traits: Type 9s are often described as easy-going, conflict-avoidant, kind, and, at times, passive-aggressive or stubborn. They are sensitive to the needs of others but may struggle to even identify their own needs, let alone express them. Their passive nature can make them seem absent, especially in emotionally charged situations
Values: They deeply value harmony, consensus, and ensuring everyone’s needs are met. Type 9s also appreciate seeing multiple perspectives, but they may struggle to know and assert their own viewpoint. Type 9s can lose touch with themselves because they genuinely relate to and understand others' ideas well. This value can lead to merging.
Childhood Experience: From a young age, Type 9s learned that it was safer to keep the peace, avoid conflict, and disappear into the background rather than assert themselves. Over time, this tendency becomes ingrained and impacts how they navigate life.
Common Experiences for Enneagram 9s:
Feeling unseen or overlooked, causing pain from invisibility
Easily agreeing with others, even when their own needs are unaddressed
Struggling to know and express personal opinions
Struggling to know and assert desires
Feeling overwhelmed by life’s intensity, which leads to self-doubt
Retreating into hobbies or numbing behaviors to cope with stress
Experiencing difficulty handling conflict, especially when emotions run high
Enneagram 9 Trauma Response: Seeking Safety Through Disappearing
For Enneagram Type 9s, trauma often disrupts their sense of balance and peace, creating a feeling of overwhelm. In response, they try to re-establish harmony by avoiding conflict or smoothing over difficult situations. This coping strategy can include being overly agreeable, suppressing their desires, getting lost due to merging with others, or withdrawing from situations that trigger intense emotions.
Many Type 9s struggle with anger. If their past trauma involved anger being used in harmful ways, they might view their own anger as something dangerous. Suppressing this anger often leads to unexpected emotional outbursts, which can result in feelings of fear, shame, and a reinforced desire to avoid conflict altogether.
While Type 9s may seek safety in being unseen or unnoticed, they also experience deep pain from not being truly seen. This internal conflict stems from a core belief that they don’t matter, which is often painful to confront. Seeking support from an Enneagram trauma therapist can help you navigate these feelings and take empowered steps toward healing. You do matter, but right now, you might be unknowingly behaving in ways that reinforce the belief that you don't.
Common Ways Enneagram 9’s Respond to Trauma:
“It’s better to get along and not rock the boat.”
Type 9s naturally focus on seeking harmony and avoiding intensity
Trauma destroys a sense of balance and harmony and creates a feeling of intense chaos
Seek safety through trying to re-establish harmony and calm by mediating, soothing, downplaying, or outright avoiding conflict
Cope with trauma by being really “easy” and not causing problems or taking up space
Be very agreeable and go along with what others want
Escape intensity by numbing out and avoiding
Avoid feeling anger in themselves even if it means they have to completely suppress their desires, opinions, and needs
Anger can feel extremely dangerous, especially if trauma was caused by anger harming others in a violent or emotionally unsafe way
Type 9s can experience outbursts of anger when they are suppressing it, and these outbursts can lead to substantial feelings of fear and shame, making them want to avoid anger even more
Simultaneously feel safer because others don’t see them and experience deep pain and grief for not being seen
Hold a core belief that they don’t matter
Learn more about trauma and discover how each Enneagram type responds to and copes with trauma.
The Role of Enneagram Therapy in Healing for Type 9s
What can Enneagram Type 9s gain from therapy? Working with an Enneagram therapist can help you:
Face conflict with confidence: Learn to approach difficult situations from a grounded, centered place, instead of avoiding or shutting down.
Redefine your relationship with anger: Transform anger from something to fear into an empowering tool for healthy self-expression.
Find your voice: Speak up for yourself and others with confidence, even when it feels uncomfortable or disruptive.
Confront what you’re avoiding: Gain the courage to stay present and address life’s challenges rather than retreating or numbing out.
Experience true harmony: Move beyond surface-level calm and find genuine harmony.
Make space for grief: Allow yourself to grieve and take up space without guilt or shame.
Lower anxiety and develop healthier coping skills: Discover tailored strategies that align with your Enneagram type for managing stress and anxiety.
Embrace your authentic self: Live authentically and freely, without the fear of how others might perceive you.
Strengthen your relationships: Build deeper, more meaningful connections.
Prioritize self-awareness: Take time to understand your needs, desires, and emotions, so you can live in alignment with your true self.
Notice when you merge with others: Recognize when you’re losing yourself in relationships or work and learn how to stay present with your core self.
Set boundaries and stay present: Learn how to set healthy boundaries while staying true to who you are, even under pressure.
How Enneagram Trauma Therapy Supports Your Growth
As an Enneagram therapist certified in the Embodiment Tradition, I go beyond traditional Enneagram work. I incorporate somatic and body-based practices, which means we explore not just your thoughts and feelings but also how your type's patterns show up in your body. This approach is particularly powerful in trauma therapy because trauma often gets stored in the body. Using these techniques, we can help you release stored trauma, reconnect with your body’s wisdom, and access your type's resilience.
No matter where you are in your Enneagram journey, North Carolina Enneagram therapy can offer a pathway to healing and self-understanding. It helps you uncover the barriers your personality type creates and guides you in cultivating deeper self-acceptance and healthier relationships. My goal is for you to leave therapy feeling more confident, empowered, and ready to grow into the healthiest version of your type.
Take the First Step: Schedule Your Free Consultation
Ready to dive in? Schedule a free 20-minute consultation. This is a great opportunity to ask questions, get a sense of how I work, and decide if working together feels like the right next step for you.
Contact Me Today:
I’m Hanna Woody, a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor based in Asheville, North Carolina with over 12 years of experience. I specialize in healing childhood trauma, breaking intergenerational cycles, and working with the Enneagram. Certified in the Embodiment Tradition, I have extensive training and teaching experience. I offer online therapy, Enneagram coaching, and Enneagram therapy for clients throughout North Carolina, including Asheville, Raleigh, Charlotte, and beyond.
Services Offered:
Therapy for Childhood Trauma
Anxiety Therapy
Enneagram Coaching
Enneagram Therapy for Cycle Breakers
Narcissistic Abuse Recovery
Online Therapy in Asheville, Raleigh, Charlotte, Winston-Salem, Greensboro, and across North Carolina
Online Therapy Locations
Asheville, Raleigh, Charlotte, Greensboro, Winston-Salem, and across all of North Carolina.